Mixed marriages never work

We all knew that the bride was heading for heartbreak.

She married the Tapioca Prince, but it didn't work out because he wouldn't touch her, and she was not gonna let that gunky lunky white stuff slide down her throat.  They were on an espresso track to a dessert, when she decided that like all 1950s girls, she would commit to her husband because in heart she loved him.  And because no one really likes a canned Danish ham go to waste.

Admit it.  Now that you have seen Princess Spamalot, you are tight like two dollar watch because your caterer never gave you this option.  That buffet plate needed a little bit-o-height, but not enough to outshine the cake.

Marry in haste, reception at leisure.

Now that you know what your friends are missing, take one to their wedding.  The secret is that dressed meat is hiding a crocheted toilet paper holder for a skirt attached. This centerpiece goes from the buffet table to the bathroom just like you will!